I was thinking what should I tell you,
It sounds like excuses that I created to meet you,
But it's not, something we need to do,
I don't want to have any relation regardings to you,
oh I don't want
So, I texted you
asking will you be free
and I don't know what to say, it feels so different to finally texting you again
when we actually used to text each other,
back then 2 years ago.
luckily you're free on the day we set,
before you have to go
flying to the place
that we have discussed before.
I was confused, should I be happy or not
its mean that you have to go
no a little distance
across the other side of the world.
if we follow the memories before,
it should be me instead then why should now it'll be her.
on that day, I was waiting for you,
not sure how the tummy feels,
still nervous and shaking,
the way I used,
waiting and hoping that you'll coming,
as you're so unsure,
to come or not,
yes I'm no longer deserve sort of your time,
but I'm still here, wasting my time,
writing about you,
you stand in front of me,
I was having my sixth senses
feelings that someone is watching,
when I looked up, you're waving
a little hye from your dancing lips,
statued, I was.
Not a figure, I used to meet,
well just let said,we have'nt meet more than 3 years
so you seems so unfamiliar with me,
not really sure, if I hit you with a smile?
but I remember I said let's us settle this,
sort of losing my words,
nervousness strike me,
when they asked to fill the some part with my detail
it's weird that you still remember mine,.
you were asking so many questions,
I swear that I would like to reply,
but no, my heart get the scars bleeding again,
and tears start to burst,
only some hand signs I can showed,
when you asked, how's my life is going,
a thumb up will hide everything,
when you said sorry for everything,
it doesn't make things forgettable but much harder to relief,
I know you're looking at me,
I can see through the reflection from the mirror in front of me,
I'm choosing to look away,
I'm choosing to look away,
rather than looking at you,
I'm way better holding my tears, that way
but you noticed anyway,
saying my smiles could not hide the pain.
if you know I'm in pain,
why still you treating me that way,
so you said, don't forget you when I'm getting married,
was'nt sure who's Im gonna pick,
rather than loving myself seems better,
because you taught me, not to trust your gender
and you taught me that only me can wipe my own tears,
there are so many questions inside my head,
wanna ask you but rather keep it quiet,
when the things get settled, I walked away without saying anything,
just a "thank you" for coming,
for not wasting my sister's time,
but when i turned around,
I heard you say bye,
and I know,this would be the last goodbye.
we have no relation anymore.
sadly it feels like you said goodbye, while I'm still saying hi
all the eye contacts you're trying to make one,
I choose to look away
because with that I know that I won't fall back.
but still standing.
wasn't sure about my feeling,
If I need someone or I just love to be alone,
it feels so bad when you break my soul, and I feel bad for breaking another souls,
I'm so sorry.
they said time will heal me, but no, it's only hide it, there's a time when it strike,
I still cry like it was yesterday.